Cat Fight….

I’ve been a bit quiet on the old blog bit  Im trying to decide   If i want to start a new blog  make some changes n what not. anyway while I continue to ponder lets have another post.

You may remember me talking about this chick at work called Gertrude. She is called Gertrude because… Well  I dont remember why  but anyway shes a bossy so called know it all bitch and  I dont  like her ONE BIT.  However,  I am not alone on this  NO ONE likes her. 

So she  only started working  about november last year and  after an hour she knew all there was to know about everything and so she decided to boss the rest of us around.  If you know me you’ll know i dont take too kindly to  being told what to do , infact neither do most  of  us.  

Then we got told she was being made a PERMINANT  staff member…. oooh did all of us start swearing and cursing! 

To add to this we got told she would be working in the “private”  sector of work  the place where we like to be  we hide out in our lil cubicle and mock people  (although as we found  out even though we THINK we’re being quiet we can  be heard from quite far away oops).

Just when things were looking like hell….. She told our “team leader” that she can only work two days a week! OH NOOOOOOOOOOO… thus working only two days a week would  mean there would be no point in training her in the “private” sector.  aww no!!!  *sheds a tear*    .   Things started looking up  the sun was shining from the heavens… Gertrude decided to  hold some stock  at work to take home at a later date… As i was taking her item upstairs  it “accidently” fell down  (ok truthfully thats not what happend..  i took it upstairs put it on the top shelf then purposefully bashed it down. it was FUN then my co workers did it too)   so  it had a massive dent in the box and i felt kinda bad. So i got another one to replace it and all was fine and dandy.

Then the firey massives from hell leaped up and started licking my feet…  actually i have no idea what that means it just sounded  good…  anyway…   My co worker and flatmate came running down to see me ran straight upstairs i heard an all mighty crash  then he comes running back down the stairs giggly and happy  and goes to me

“Gertrude told Amy* (name has been changed)  that your a bitch.”

“I’m a bitch???? IM A BITCH?? what the fuck did i do to that skanky arsed whore face bitch??”

“well   Amy was saying that  Gertrude said you always take ages for your breaks you hang up in the “private area” you dont do anything  and your just a bitch”

“……… WELL THEN IF THAT BITCH THINKS SHE CAN MESS WITH ME SHES GOT ANOTHER THING COMMING. IM A BITCH? IM A BITCH…… RIGHT THAT LITTLE SHITS GOT IT COMMING TO HER LET ME AT HER WHERE IS SHE?”

“shes gone home.”

“RIGHHHHHT.. im gonna find out where that slapper is”

So your  prolly pretty mad too arent you??   are you leaping up  n down in your seat wondering what  the Queen is going to do??

here are my thoughts….

1.  Throw rocks through her windows  (i found out where she lives)

2. have 100 pizzas delivered to her door mainly sardine and fishy gross ones.

3.  knock on the door and smack her in the face.

4.  Learn kick boxing  practice my right hook, get another job see her out on the town and be like OMG GERTRUDE ITS BEEN SO LONG!!   take off her glasses then BAM with the right hook

5.  throw rose clippings at her

6. throw eggs at her

7.  Somehow make her pants tighter so that when she goes to bend over they rip..

But do you know what  I finally decided on……

you’ll be quite excited

pleased even

………………I’m going to be nice to her.

Yup.

Nice. 

I’m not goin to sacrifice my long breaks.

But i can do the “good morning Gertrude how are you?”   “gertrude! that top looks just lovely where’d u get that from?”

My flatmate said its quite scary when im nice to people. He approves of my plan.   beacause either a ) shes dumb enough to not think that Amy would have told me.   b) shes dumb enough to think that i am just being nice to her or.  c) she will think i am being genuinely nice to her and she’ll think  that i have  given in to her.

then… when she least expects it… im going to punch her in the face..

HAHAHAHAHA SUCCCCCCCCCCKER….

well  im off to go… do something..

love n hugs

tootle pip

meeeeeee 

The Queen Has Returned

hello!!

 So im back  and i have fake nails on so its  rather hard to type with.

Well  i wanted  to  change  my theme n stuff but theres no girly ones so im waiting til scott gets back so i can use his photoshop and make my own. Yay!

So what have i been up too?  well…. i have been working 6 days a week going to bed as early as 730pm   and getting up at 6am and i crashed my dads car.. dont worry its not much no one was hurt…  see i was driving forwards out of the driveway and  the fence moved like  30cms and i hit it and scraped along the fence a bit and then reversed and hit the mirror.. but its only gonna cost $150 to repair.. nothing compared to the first time i crashed the car…. the bumper came off and everything! but anyway…  

I went to my cousins wedding last night.. the guests were mainly athletes and teachers Man athletes get drunk easily.. it was so funny a couple of guys got behind the bar and served themselves coz there was no one there and OMG my other cousin who is like the same age as me infact  she was born on the same day as me anyway she has a totally UGLY boyfriend.. the first one she had wasnt very good looking either and he was a rude cunt but this one is like ewwwwwwwwwwww but he is more polite he shook my hand.. and said hi which is more than the other fuckwit did. AND OMG my cousin  (the same one) ok… im gonna sound like a total bitch when i say this but like hello i’ve been compared to them since the day i was born i might be an only child but i know a thing or  100 bout sibling rivalry. Annnnnyway…. she has packed on the pounds!  her boooty is like racing me for the biggest one and i think  she may be winning..  she has bigger shoulders than me too.

Anyway… the food was really good coz both the bride and groom are athlete freaks (yeah that gene skipped a line) there was good food like tabouli and  peppers and salads and  blue vein chese thingees and omg it was good… very tasty… i have some pics but they are like not on my comp yet.

ahh my cousin ate all the pies.

i know im a bitch but hey thats why you come back.

Right now will someone remind me to send shannons present? coz like i was at the friggin post office the other day to send scott something and i totally freaken forgot. so much for my new years resolution to be more organised! ha.

OMG scott got sky tv and i was like “omg why did u get this im so never going to watch it” and OMG my fav shows are Laguna beach, newport harbour, the hills and the girls of the playboy mansion! wooo! and omg we have rachel rae!!! its sooooooooooo exciting..

So im back and i’ve lost all the favourites on my browser so i gotta go find all of those and do some shopping. I love internet shopping theres no skinny bitch looking at you and thinking mean things while  you buy “hes just not that into you”  or  anything simular like that you know? 

so hit me up and say hi coz i know you missed me.

well best be off

love n hugs

tootle pip

me

I display disgumsting customer service skills…

you guys are gonna love this post..

so friday night im at work i’ve been there since 1230pm its about 7pm  i have ques for miles  and  im serving  a lady and her husband  who are picking up a big fucker of a layby.   they had a big f1 ride on car  plus some parcels…

i got all their stuff and gave it to them when the lady goes to me “oh do you have a trolly?” to which i reply “trollies are up the front if you want to go get one” to which she replies “oh thanks for your help”  so i replied “your welcome” 

and delt with the rest of my customers.

finally at 9pm im taking my  cash bags up when the manager on informs me that she recived a complant about me…

guess who it was???

go on..

YES the lady and HER HUSBAND that had the big fucker layby  complained and said i had “dusgustomsting (no its not  a typo she wrote that)  customer service skills… i am a regular shopper in this store but i may be thinking of going elsewhere”

 this lady expected me to pull a trolly out of my arse just 4 her EVEN though she already had a bloody trolly… mmhmmm.. AND her husband was standing around doing nothing.. 

the manager on that night  said she wanted to slap the silly bitch. like no shit…

my theory is if you know your going to pick up layby  stuff and you know what you had on layby isnt it common sense to get a trolly  BEFORE you get to layby  instead of bitching bout the underworked staff that WERE IN LAYBY ALONE.

According to big BIG management over the christmas period we’re sposed to have no less than 3 people in layby at all times cool huh? thats why i was alone. except for when the night manager was helping me out because unlike other managers she knows layby and she stuck up 4 me.  yay

but i could not believe it aye.

and some other guy got shitty at me on  today coz he wanted to get his tent but he didnt have any  dockets or reciepts for it.. gee i wonder why i wouldnt give it to  him.

well i have emails to reply to so tootle pip

love n hugs

me.

The Queen is on a powertrip part 2

Over the weekend  i had to work. normally i work in layby and thats all i do. if its busy on checkouts i’ll go help out but otherwise i mainly keep to myself unless im required to do a service desk break. However last saturday i went into layby i get in the door and um.. should i use her real name? her name is the same as mine so i’ll be gerty and she can be gertrude yes? ok? we follow… me = gerty  she =gertrude.  got it? excellent…

so i walk in the door and gertrude goes to m

can you please move those tents?

as in those big 16 people tents that weigh over 30kgs? (sorry not goin to convert you can deal)  im going to go with no. can you not ask one of the  guys to do it?

oh well why cant you move them?

well then why cant you move them? wheres scott? im goin to go look for him..

so i run upstairs before i slap the fucken bitch and find scott and chat to him bout what a bitch she is but then i get called to checkouts.

so i go to checkouts and my boss.. hmm. we’ll call her granny  BECAUSE HER 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS PREGNANT HAHAHAHA TO YOU SLAPPPPPPPPPER.. sorry.. anyway we’ll call her granny..

granny says to me “hun i need you to be checkout  control we’re flat out down here”

so a quick explanation checkout control basically means i gotta walk up n down between checkouts checking to see if the lights go on meaning they need help and check customer flow make sure they’re in they’re out as smoothly and as quickly as possible..

so im like “err…yeah ok.. what needs doing?” coz i’ve never really done it before except when doing breaks but generally theres nothing to do i just stand there and look good lol

so i get the hang of that and that goes ok not too bad… i end up going back to layby coz  gertrude went home and left it in a mess.  I volenteered to start work at 8am the next day…

Sunday….

I started work at 8am went and got my tils to put those away.. as im finishing putting one til in im thinking to myself “hmm.. i swear i had more money than this last night” then i went to put in the seal number and sign the sheet and i was like “thats odd… dani didnt sign this out last night i did.. OH FUCK  i was given the wrong til bag.”

 I ring the office get that sorted out.  

Start on the paper work MOST of which i  couldnt find.  I was not impresed as gertrude was doing cancellations (christmas laybys we had earlier in the year customers havent made payments we cancel items go back out 4 sale) 

So i organise a list of stuff for gertrude to do coz im not walking around cleaning up after her. next she’ll expect me to wipe her arse 4 her. 

Then scott calls me up “yeah we’re gonna need you 4 checkout control as soon as bitch comes in coz we have like no one”

So  gertrude comes in at 1130 and i give her a list of everything and walk  out

I’m on checkout control

a customer wants to buy a bbq. i check and make sure they have one, ask david to bring one up for  the customer to take through the store.  customer changes mind and wants to pick it up at the back.

i page david

i wait

i page again

i wait

i page again

I wait.

finally i get a fone call from david “yeah i need the pick up docket from the bbq”

“well if you answerd my pages you’d know where it was wouldnt you?”  and i   accidently droped the fone onto the  base.

later on the same day..

I have a pick up  for a customer waiting on a bike  the customer ask “cant i just grab one of those bikes over there?”

“no im sorry you cant, the bike you got is logged onto our system and if you take the wrong one it’ll screw it up”

See here is the problem i had to call … meh im using his real name hes a dick. i had to call david to get me the bike i gave him the pick up number. How hard  is it to find a bike.?? you find  docket you match up docket numbers check right bike give bike to customer. peice of piss..

so i page him give him instructions and serve other customers do a few  lights check 4 change orders turn around. AND MY CUSTOMERS ARE STILL THERE LOOKING PISSY.  so i check to see if  david has come up. no no he hasnt.

so i page him again

‘where are you?”

“im just comming up now”

so i inform customers that hes on the way.

they’re looking at me like “yeah your not doin anything why cant you go get it bitch?”

i do a few more lights. answer the fone (by the way commonly asked question “hi what time are you guys open?”  for fucks sake  LOOK AT YOUR MAILER.

turn around again and customers are VERY VERY pissy… so i page david.

“where are you?”

“yeah im comming?”

“ok cool”

so  i go off to answer some lights in the mean time david comes up and  the other service desk person..we’ll call her… ducky.. yes ducky lol  no duckys a dumb name… err… daisy yes daisy will do she looks like a daisy…  daisy goes “david told me to tell you to get off your power trip and get off his case”

WELL DOES HE NOW??? HMMM DOES HE REALLY???

so david finishes with the customer and  holds the pick up docket at me so i just stand there and stare at him. finally he gets pissed off and tries to shove it in the til.

HOWEVER. it doesnt go in the til. i put it in there anyway and i said to him rather nicely “you have two customers waiting to see you DAVID” 

and for the rest of the afternoon i say things  in his ear shot such as “yeah i would LOVE to help you however im currently having a power trip so i’ll have to get back to you”

To give you a tiny bit of background about what a tosser david is. during the toy sale earlier this year  we had trampolines on sale and he was giving out the wrong barcodes to us even though i said to him “thats not the right barcode you have the wrong tramp”  his reply was “no no no no right barcode just over ride it to the right price”

And here we are in december with people getting the wrong tramplines…  And we’ve been told by the store manager NOT to listen to him.

Hahahahaha.

anyway back to gertrude..

According to my sources she was calling me a bitch and saying “how come she never does anything down in layby? why am i doing everything she is such a bitch all she does is boss me around”

well lady YOU TOLD THE WRONG PERSON

AND she was making general staff members (ppl to dumb to be in layby) go up and down the stairs looking for parcels coz SHE DIDNT FEEL LIKE GOIN UP THE STAIRS.

mmhmmm…

i had to come in to work at EIGHT AM ON A SUNDAY MORNING to fix up her shit AND I DO NOTHING?

i refuse to work with her.

so yeah that is my story.

that is why i was so fucked off

and to add to my pissed off mood

gertrude was taking credit 4 how clean layby was when it was a joint effort between me and one of the other staff members.

AND im on fucken midnight shifts all next week. 33o til 12am..  which is ok on sat and sun coz i get to sleep in woo!! 

but im working tomorrow  9am til 530. gay.  wednesday is shopping day. and its ad day so half way through the day people will be going “thats the wrong price the price on the shelf says blah blah i want it for blah blah coz im a stupid whore”

yeah,.

well some stuff just fell off the shelf in the bathroom so im goin to go inspect and find my fone charger coz my fone is dead

i hope you enjoyed my short story lol

llove n hugs

tootle pip

me

The Queen is a bitch on a power trip!

Stay tuned for tomorrows post.

it will be filled with swear words

                                                                  and a few choice new lingo

                    management can shove it.

                                                                                                                                              me on a power trip?

            who  are you kidding? im lovely

                                                                                           right?

fucken do your job cunt

                                                                                                         why shud i have to page you 2 times to do something?

its not rocket science. find bike. find matching docket bring bike to customer.

                                                       DUH.

The Bitch Is Back.

ohhh yeah!!! we haaaaaaaaaaaave the internet..

that  is all thank you

lol

i have 6 boxes to unpack and a lot of  crap on my bed to get rid of  annnnnnnnd i have a mountain of clothing to chuck in trademe. somehow i aquired size 10 pants? wtf is with that. needless to say they’re goin out lol

omg speaking of size 10 last night me and scott spend $900 on groceries  and i got cosmo and cleo mags and in one of them this british size 12 model (not sure what that is over here or in the states  i know its a size 12 aus)  cant get any mainstream model work coz shes too fat?  SIZE 12 IS NOT TOO FAT.

anyway i have boxes to unpack i just wanted to let you know that im baaaaaack…

love n hugs

tootle pip

me

Karma is a bitch

Do you remember  how  the other week i went shopping? if not go read the post.

Well today Scott and I went shopping and  all was going well we were at our last stop and OMG did i get shitty.

We went to Noel leemings and yes i am naming this store coz they are CUNTS we walk in the door and  some guy comes up and hes all “hi guys how are you? what can i help you with ? are you just looking” so  i reply “yeah im good  just looking” hoping he’ll get the point that pushy sales people really annoy me!    so he walks off then just as he’s leaving another guy comes over ” hi guys are you right there? can i help with anything?”  and so im getting shitty already  and im like “you could help by fucking off” of course i said this quietly as i walked away..   anyway   7 people asked us for help! yes 7!  then at the end i  asked scott to enquire about a new cellfone  and the guy he asked was like   (imagine an indian voice it sounds better)  “Yes it is $599 same price as it is now. IT was $230 off” and  we’re like “uhh… no… I (scott) paid  $599 for it at full price when it first came out so i doubt you’d have $230 off it when thats its full price”  and  mr indian replied with  “oh well we are not allowed to see the catolougue until it comes out”     and scotts like “Yeah whatever”   then the guy goes “now because it is over $50 we need to ask for information for the warrently”  so scotts like “yeah  ok” and im like “ooh say gertrude Mcflufferson!” (thats my fake name)  then for some reason  the guy gets sum shelia to take  over  the sale and he walks off   so this chick takes over and then we FINALLY WALK OUT and  honestly it was my worst shopping experience ever.

I no longer like erin brocovich (shes doin advertisments for noel leeming now)   but  i must go back to them because if i buy my fone through them  i get  free purfume stuff (which if i dont like im goin to wrap up and give to my cousin 4 xmas) and an incar  talking kit thing annnnnnnnnnd something else.. not sure what

So i think its allllllllllll karma baby… oh well i dont mind i still got free shit

Anyway  do any of you guys know  who sings fade to black? no its not metallica or disturbed or korn its someone else and it sounds cool its old school and its really good its kind of mellow…

help a chick out and i will proclaim my love to you over the internet.

ooh yeah.. who wouldnt want that.

well i best go start dinner pooooooooooooooooooooooo……………. 

love n hugs

toootle pip

OMG YOU PENIS! the server is down 4 maintaince this is just awesome i cant do anything for “just a few mins” i will wait til the ads are on, im watching friends.  so how are you? what are you up too? what are you wearing?  ooh kinky…  i like a man that wears gstrings  so.. how you doing? those are nice shoes… wanna fuck?  OMG ITS charlotte from sex in the city shes on friends!!  ok ads are on. if this is gone then im gonna cry. i really will. then im gonna kick something.   yeah