Well Fuck me

so im just watching Hex on tv and doing a bit of research  on my trip to new york for christmas next year and i thought well if im going to be there for christmas why not stay for new years? then me and scott could be like ross and monica and do that dance on that tv show in times square!! ooh we’d be soooooooo cool… anyway slightly side tracking…  So  i found a hotel search website  which wont let me see what prices are next year so i just made it for this year  only staying three nights  and the average amount PER NIGHT in NZ$ is like 600!! thats $600 PER FUCKEN NIGHT.  Do they like make my bed  out of gold?  that is 2 adults in one room no kids…. FUCK ME!!

I think i may have to find some friends in new york.. i wonder what carrie  (SATC) is up too…  maybe bunk with samantha? ….. hmmm… perhaps reinact pyscho with some crazy mofo…   maybe joey (friends) has a spare room..  oh! i do know someone in nyc… my mate chris! i dunno if he still lives there i havent chatted to him in ages last i heard he was thinkin of moving to new jersey..  hmmmm……….. 

maybe  we could just  pretend to be homeless…. noooooooo

ohhhhhhhh how far away from nyc is starshollow? we could go stay with lorelei and rory!! 

back to my research.. i’ll edit this later with more info

love n hugs

tootle pip

me

Dream Tramp.

I had a dream last night that  i had an affair with one of my friends partners!! OMG  it was so vivid.. hes a really good kisser (from my dream  anyway)  and he was all  upset about cheating and we were being all secretive  but it made it heaps of fun.

and then i got a job at whitcouls bookstore! fun huh.

all in my dream of course..

when i woke up i felt horribly guilty  and then all day i kept thinking odd thoughts.

well since i have the night off from work i am going to clean the house.

go me

love n hugs

tootle pip

me

Yes It did!

So…………

Christmas sucked.

I have work tomorrow.

the end.

Next year  I am not going to spend xmas with my family.  I plan to either a) have a bf and spend it with his family or b) go to new york city 4 xmas. either way im not goin to be with them.

end of story.

 tootle pip

Can things get worse? (yes yes they can)

So today i dropped the flatmate off at the airport  and returned home as going to the supermarket  at 5pm on christmas eve was not an option. so i come into the driveway slightly speeding and doing some funky manuover with  scotts care when i see 5 little shits comming out of MY driveway on bikes. Yes. thats right. so  I nearly hit one of them and OF COURSE it would have been all MY fault coz like their black (oohh i hope blacksentenial isnt reading this)  . I suspect they have being doing this a lot since we have moved in as we  work during the day and dont come home til late in the morning (as we are hookers ooh baby…. kidding….)   

Anyway after  wrapping some presents realising that im missing my grandads present and needing to go into town to get  fruit and  booze  (went in last night, well ok so it was morning but  they wouldnt sell it  it took us a while to figure out why  there was a rope around half the shop  until we saw ONE tiny sign saying they dont sell booze between 10pm and 7am)  however, before i went to go i jumped into my dads car (im borrowing it)  and i went to turn it on and… THE FUCKEN CUNT WOULDNT START i suspect the battery is flat so im using scotts car. yay. THEN   the good  old lotto shop is closed. grr… so i just brought him a christmas card  and i’ve got 50$ to  put in it. woo. 

So here i am at  10pm on christmas eve  Slightly boozed  watching my idol bridget.  Now  i did want to watch Pride and Predujice but i cant find it at any dvd shops at present.  Oh i hear you saying to yourself  … wasnt that on tv the other night?? Yes yes it was HOWEVER   due to technical difficulties it was not taped. Turns out the Dvd recorder  prefers to be on AV4 and not just on whatever bloody channel we left it on.  Hmmmph……

well have a fucken merry christmas while i pay attention to bridget as she deserves it. I really hope i dnt die single and alone being half eaten by alsations.

tootle pip

love n hugs

me.

The Queens Christmas Theory.

Wouldnt it be funny if some kid is googling santa and im like  ” is not real” ???  hahahhahaa.. one of the guys at work wanted to walk around telling all the kids santa wasnt real. Like you can lie to kids like that..  Anyway..

Did you know that  the statistics on Suicides note that around Christmas time is the highest  rate of suicide. So  I put this to you. If there was no christmas there would be less suicides. correct?  So then…

Thank you baby jesus for making people top themselves.

Reality TV….

Just when you think it cant get any worse im sitting watching tv on a saturday which is unusual for me because  im at work right now but i dont start for another hour and a half go me! anyway  guess what is on tv..

Playing it straight.  Yup its a reality tv series containing both gay and straight men competing for the love of one woman. OMG CAN YOU GET ANY MORE PATHETIC?

apparently if  this chick falls for a straight guy they get 200,00 each. however if she falls for a gay guy he gets the whole caboodle.

like omg.  its not that hard  this guy right here hes totally gay.  if she wants to know how to win  then fully just get nakid and start doing some  R18 things to yourself.   if anything  pops up 99% chance hes straight.

this guy here. hes  gay.  right im going to google this shit and  see who was gay. ahh  theres a few different seasons of this bullshit my god will people watch anything?    ohh rebecca picked chad who was straight the other two in the final 3 were both gay. funny. 

well i should go get ready for work. im so close to telling a customer to go fuck themselves. oohh i cant wait .. and the store manager to  he can so go fuck himself.  his wifes a bitch too.  

pride and predujice is on tv tonight yay! im gonna  get scott to record it. hopefully the dvd recorder will work properly. 

ohh scotts going away on christmas eve!!!!! im gonna be all alone.  and walk around the house in my underwear.  and get  my  stereo and play my music.  and work out how to work his vaccum cleaner.  and clean out the fridge. and work out which day is rubbish day.    then prolly get scared at night time when coujo (next door neighbors dog)  starts whinging and im all alone.  and i dont even have my cats to  force to cuddle me. 

ok shower time.

love n hugs

tootle pip

me

Being Alone - The Queens thoughts…

So both josh and romi  have both disscussed being alone and if there really is someone for everyone and well im going to jump in on this disscusion as well coz well,  i want too

So i’ve been single for about 3 years since my last boyfriend and yes  i was err.. rather bed friendly with him up until this year when i suddenly stoped talking to him  and then there was  mcdreamy (if you remember him then good on you if not there is no trace of him on this blog any more he is GONE)  and  now there is a guy lurking around but hes a bit of an odd one lol  

As most of you know my mum has past away and before then she was sick and during this time i had many thoughts such as “omg shes never going to see me get married ” and  “omg shes never going to see my kids grow up” It was at that point  I realised that deep down i do want those things. which brings me to the point of my conflicting thoughts.

People change. its true  you can garentee your not the same sticky fingerd kindergarten kid nor are you the  weird pig tailed giggly girl from intermediate (err.. i dont know what is ..oh middle school)   and  thus you are not the same person you were at highschool so how then can you then be with someone and marry that person if  people change? and people change at different rates as well. ?If your still friends with people from kindy,  primary school and highschool  you know theyre not the same. I’m friends with some of the people  from the above schools   but we’re not the same as what we were then. yes shannon still loves horses and im still dark and moody but we’re not the same.

So if we’re all about change how can we have a soul mate?

Then on the other hand I want there to be the knight in shining armour waiting for me.  I want my prince charming.  I want a guy that ‘weakens my vagina ‘ I want him to be a funny charming guy that has a dirty sense of humour who loves me wen im in my pjs with my hair looking like arse and dancing around to highschool musical. I want him to love me when im abusing the crap out of him for there being no Tim Tams.   And he’s got to know his music. like not be a total groupie but know his shit.

It is rather confusing because as an example my friend jemma  met her husband while we were in  highschool through her best mate michelle  and  they were “Friends”   infact they were together when i was with……… brian  (argh)   and they’re still together now  which is good coz they’re married lol.  anyway.. so  obviously they’ve changed but they’ve changed at a close enough rate so they can still love each other  especially when jem is crying because andrew   was mean to her in her dream  (long story) 

On the other hand   3 friends  people in my circle  from highschool to my knowledge still love  anime  and collect dragon ball z cards. does that mean they’re chances of finding someone is greater because they havent changed?

So.. The Queen is alone.   Romi is alone. Josh is…. well Josh has a  gf.. perhaps me and Romi should get together hahahhahahahaha… im kidding romi… its not that your not one sexy bitch its just i dont do long distance. 

I was going to a  post about Tv tonight so i guess josh and romi saved  you from that boredom please thank them.

I kinda thought being an adult would be like  sex and the city you know  me and my mates would all be 30 sumthing before we find someone and we’d drink cosmopolitans  and talk about  grown up stuff and walk around our houses in our underwear.   Now one of my best mates is married!!!  and my other mate has been with her bf for nearly a year!!  and im all alone. which i dont mind. except 4 when i want a hug. which i think is why i miss my ex a bit coz i want hugs and attention.  you know THAT kind of attention.

well i think i have babbled enough

tootle pip

love n hugs

meeeeee

i have edited this to add that for christmas as i cannot be bothered going back to my christmas list i would like to add that i want  the book “hes just not that into you” by   Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo   even though i think self help books are trashy and a waste of money.  this one seems funny.

 i would like to also add..  wanting this book does not make me desperate.

does it?

dont answer that

but if your a real friend you will.

this post has made me want to watch bridget jones and  pretty woman  yes. bridget jones the first one not the second one.  im currently watching sex and the city the one where berger tells miranda this guy is “just not that into her” this episode is what spawnd the book “hes just not that into you”    im a fountain of  useless information.   that guy samantha is fucking, jerry he is totally hot i think he  used to be the dude for some vodka ad.. mm.. vodka and hot boy… mmmmmm…………….

I display disgumsting customer service skills…

you guys are gonna love this post..

so friday night im at work i’ve been there since 1230pm its about 7pm  i have ques for miles  and  im serving  a lady and her husband  who are picking up a big fucker of a layby.   they had a big f1 ride on car  plus some parcels…

i got all their stuff and gave it to them when the lady goes to me “oh do you have a trolly?” to which i reply “trollies are up the front if you want to go get one” to which she replies “oh thanks for your help”  so i replied “your welcome” 

and delt with the rest of my customers.

finally at 9pm im taking my  cash bags up when the manager on informs me that she recived a complant about me…

guess who it was???

go on..

YES the lady and HER HUSBAND that had the big fucker layby  complained and said i had “dusgustomsting (no its not  a typo she wrote that)  customer service skills… i am a regular shopper in this store but i may be thinking of going elsewhere”

 this lady expected me to pull a trolly out of my arse just 4 her EVEN though she already had a bloody trolly… mmhmmm.. AND her husband was standing around doing nothing.. 

the manager on that night  said she wanted to slap the silly bitch. like no shit…

my theory is if you know your going to pick up layby  stuff and you know what you had on layby isnt it common sense to get a trolly  BEFORE you get to layby  instead of bitching bout the underworked staff that WERE IN LAYBY ALONE.

According to big BIG management over the christmas period we’re sposed to have no less than 3 people in layby at all times cool huh? thats why i was alone. except for when the night manager was helping me out because unlike other managers she knows layby and she stuck up 4 me.  yay

but i could not believe it aye.

and some other guy got shitty at me on  today coz he wanted to get his tent but he didnt have any  dockets or reciepts for it.. gee i wonder why i wouldnt give it to  him.

well i have emails to reply to so tootle pip

love n hugs

me.

The Queen is on a powertrip part 2

Over the weekend  i had to work. normally i work in layby and thats all i do. if its busy on checkouts i’ll go help out but otherwise i mainly keep to myself unless im required to do a service desk break. However last saturday i went into layby i get in the door and um.. should i use her real name? her name is the same as mine so i’ll be gerty and she can be gertrude yes? ok? we follow… me = gerty  she =gertrude.  got it? excellent…

so i walk in the door and gertrude goes to m

can you please move those tents?

as in those big 16 people tents that weigh over 30kgs? (sorry not goin to convert you can deal)  im going to go with no. can you not ask one of the  guys to do it?

oh well why cant you move them?

well then why cant you move them? wheres scott? im goin to go look for him..

so i run upstairs before i slap the fucken bitch and find scott and chat to him bout what a bitch she is but then i get called to checkouts.

so i go to checkouts and my boss.. hmm. we’ll call her granny  BECAUSE HER 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS PREGNANT HAHAHAHA TO YOU SLAPPPPPPPPPER.. sorry.. anyway we’ll call her granny..

granny says to me “hun i need you to be checkout  control we’re flat out down here”

so a quick explanation checkout control basically means i gotta walk up n down between checkouts checking to see if the lights go on meaning they need help and check customer flow make sure they’re in they’re out as smoothly and as quickly as possible..

so im like “err…yeah ok.. what needs doing?” coz i’ve never really done it before except when doing breaks but generally theres nothing to do i just stand there and look good lol

so i get the hang of that and that goes ok not too bad… i end up going back to layby coz  gertrude went home and left it in a mess.  I volenteered to start work at 8am the next day…

Sunday….

I started work at 8am went and got my tils to put those away.. as im finishing putting one til in im thinking to myself “hmm.. i swear i had more money than this last night” then i went to put in the seal number and sign the sheet and i was like “thats odd… dani didnt sign this out last night i did.. OH FUCK  i was given the wrong til bag.”

 I ring the office get that sorted out.  

Start on the paper work MOST of which i  couldnt find.  I was not impresed as gertrude was doing cancellations (christmas laybys we had earlier in the year customers havent made payments we cancel items go back out 4 sale) 

So i organise a list of stuff for gertrude to do coz im not walking around cleaning up after her. next she’ll expect me to wipe her arse 4 her. 

Then scott calls me up “yeah we’re gonna need you 4 checkout control as soon as bitch comes in coz we have like no one”

So  gertrude comes in at 1130 and i give her a list of everything and walk  out

I’m on checkout control

a customer wants to buy a bbq. i check and make sure they have one, ask david to bring one up for  the customer to take through the store.  customer changes mind and wants to pick it up at the back.

i page david

i wait

i page again

i wait

i page again

I wait.

finally i get a fone call from david “yeah i need the pick up docket from the bbq”

“well if you answerd my pages you’d know where it was wouldnt you?”  and i   accidently droped the fone onto the  base.

later on the same day..

I have a pick up  for a customer waiting on a bike  the customer ask “cant i just grab one of those bikes over there?”

“no im sorry you cant, the bike you got is logged onto our system and if you take the wrong one it’ll screw it up”

See here is the problem i had to call … meh im using his real name hes a dick. i had to call david to get me the bike i gave him the pick up number. How hard  is it to find a bike.?? you find  docket you match up docket numbers check right bike give bike to customer. peice of piss..

so i page him give him instructions and serve other customers do a few  lights check 4 change orders turn around. AND MY CUSTOMERS ARE STILL THERE LOOKING PISSY.  so i check to see if  david has come up. no no he hasnt.

so i page him again

‘where are you?”

“im just comming up now”

so i inform customers that hes on the way.

they’re looking at me like “yeah your not doin anything why cant you go get it bitch?”

i do a few more lights. answer the fone (by the way commonly asked question “hi what time are you guys open?”  for fucks sake  LOOK AT YOUR MAILER.

turn around again and customers are VERY VERY pissy… so i page david.

“where are you?”

“yeah im comming?”

“ok cool”

so  i go off to answer some lights in the mean time david comes up and  the other service desk person..we’ll call her… ducky.. yes ducky lol  no duckys a dumb name… err… daisy yes daisy will do she looks like a daisy…  daisy goes “david told me to tell you to get off your power trip and get off his case”

WELL DOES HE NOW??? HMMM DOES HE REALLY???

so david finishes with the customer and  holds the pick up docket at me so i just stand there and stare at him. finally he gets pissed off and tries to shove it in the til.

HOWEVER. it doesnt go in the til. i put it in there anyway and i said to him rather nicely “you have two customers waiting to see you DAVID” 

and for the rest of the afternoon i say things  in his ear shot such as “yeah i would LOVE to help you however im currently having a power trip so i’ll have to get back to you”

To give you a tiny bit of background about what a tosser david is. during the toy sale earlier this year  we had trampolines on sale and he was giving out the wrong barcodes to us even though i said to him “thats not the right barcode you have the wrong tramp”  his reply was “no no no no right barcode just over ride it to the right price”

And here we are in december with people getting the wrong tramplines…  And we’ve been told by the store manager NOT to listen to him.

Hahahahaha.

anyway back to gertrude..

According to my sources she was calling me a bitch and saying “how come she never does anything down in layby? why am i doing everything she is such a bitch all she does is boss me around”

well lady YOU TOLD THE WRONG PERSON

AND she was making general staff members (ppl to dumb to be in layby) go up and down the stairs looking for parcels coz SHE DIDNT FEEL LIKE GOIN UP THE STAIRS.

mmhmmm…

i had to come in to work at EIGHT AM ON A SUNDAY MORNING to fix up her shit AND I DO NOTHING?

i refuse to work with her.

so yeah that is my story.

that is why i was so fucked off

and to add to my pissed off mood

gertrude was taking credit 4 how clean layby was when it was a joint effort between me and one of the other staff members.

AND im on fucken midnight shifts all next week. 33o til 12am..  which is ok on sat and sun coz i get to sleep in woo!! 

but im working tomorrow  9am til 530. gay.  wednesday is shopping day. and its ad day so half way through the day people will be going “thats the wrong price the price on the shelf says blah blah i want it for blah blah coz im a stupid whore”

yeah,.

well some stuff just fell off the shelf in the bathroom so im goin to go inspect and find my fone charger coz my fone is dead

i hope you enjoyed my short story lol

llove n hugs

tootle pip

me

The Queen is a bitch on a power trip!

Stay tuned for tomorrows post.

it will be filled with swear words

                                                                  and a few choice new lingo

                    management can shove it.

                                                                                                                                              me on a power trip?

            who  are you kidding? im lovely

                                                                                           right?

fucken do your job cunt

                                                                                                         why shud i have to page you 2 times to do something?

its not rocket science. find bike. find matching docket bring bike to customer.

                                                       DUH.