At night she lies awake
Tears fall down her cheek
No matter how good the day was
She closes her eyes and the memories come back
The screams haunt her sleep

She recalls the pain
She feels the pain
Their bond never breaking making her share the pain

She laughs she smiles
She loves
Yet all through the day not a minute goes by
That she doesn’t stop thinking
Of that last night

As the bracelet when from hand to hand
It was only hours before it would end

A day meant for celebration
Was spent surrounding a bed
Waiting
And watching

“I don’t want her to be in any more pain”
The words so simple yet the effect they would have

Days have past
And still she thinks
She mounrs

As morning arrives she awakes
Hearing silence
Then the memories wash back again
Tears fall before her feet hit the floor
And she faces another day

She fears the gates
A place that once brought her peace
Now stands looming forcing her to face
The memories that wait inside

They were never close friends
But it was more than most

A letter waits unopened
For someone who cannot stand surprises
This letter holds no curiosity
For it means having to say goodbye

She faces each day behind a brick wall
Facing her silent battle alone

thing i stole from a bebo page

How well do you know me?

I wanted to do a funky quiz but i cant do one with fancy buttons and my own questions so lets do it the old fashioned way.

1. what new band did I recenctly discover all by myself (yes thats right all by myself)
a) Type O negitive
b) Candlebox
c)U2

2. If you really really hated me what present would you give me for christmas?
a) fuck off i hate you i aint buying you nothing!
b) u2s entire catolouge of cds and music dvds and including their books
c) flowers - the ones that make you sneeze

3. If i was to have a girl (HA) what would i name her?
a) either siobhan, gypsy -rose, lorelei, vitoria or samantha
b)either jade, michelle, Emma, jayne
c)either louise, donna, shannon, gertrude

4. if i was to have a boy (HA) what would i name him?
a) either mathew, jack, colin, william
b)either johnathan, mike, kelly
c)either jaccob, daniel, lucus, joshua

5. what tv programme do i secretly watch and tell no one?
a) gilmore girls
b)friends
c) Americas next top model

6. what new chicks am i listening to at the moment?
a)brooke fraiser, anika moa, bic runga, carly binding
b) dixie chicks, the donnas, hanson
c) cheryl crow, madonna, cher

7. am i secretly??
a) a spy
b) sitting outside your window
c) having emo moments and tendancies
d) all of the above

8. how bored are you right now?
a) extremely
b) sorry what i stoped reading
c) i can go a bit more

9. Who’s body do i want
a) jessica albas
b) vin diesels
c) dan carters

10. what do my ipod song lists look like
a) in order of artist and album all in perfect order and sequence
b) random names like “umbrella” and “gumboot” with no songs by the same artist together
c) play lists in both artist order and album as well as made up lists with “releases” spelt wrong and heaps of shit from NIN to the b52’s

11. whats my favourite food?
a) anything chicken
b) lasange
c) anything with chocolate

12. what type of chocolate is the best chocolate ever made (in my opinion)?
a) milk chocolate
b) white milky bar chocolate especially if it has the lil smarties in them!
c) 70% dark coca the strong stuff

13. what is my room decorted with the most?
a) cats cats bloody cats!
b) dragons, candles, cds, dvds and other weird girly stuff
c) both a and b unless ur sleeping then a is not allowed

14. what have i never done?
a) like nothing!
b) been out of nz
c) been to the north island
d) been to a musical or ballet

15. what song do i mock but secretly like?
a)Poi e
b) black betty
c) mmmbop!

16. what song makes me cry every time without fail?
a) i’ve had the time of my life
b) last kiss
c) enter sandman

17. what is the only album that is by the same artist can i listen to without skipping any songs?
a) korn - greatest hits
b) u2 - greatest hits
c) ac/dc - thunder struck

18. what do i fear the most?
a) being burried alive
b) going to any cemetry
c) letting someone actually know me
d) losing my hearing

19. do i have crazy weird dreams ?
a) yes
b) i dont know do you?
c) nope you never remember your dreams

20. if you wanted to do something nice for me would you…?
a) stay away from me
b) hand me your credit card and tell me to go crazy
c) get cookies and cream ice cream, my favourite girly dvds, chocolate mike and lemonade and sit with me and watch every single one while paying lots of attention so we could disscuss them after.
d) go shopping with you and pay attention to everything.
e) i have my own better idea which is… (details are required if you pick this option)

21. what are my favourite girly dvds?
a) scream, children of the corn, the bride of chucky, saw,2,3, hostel, jaws,2
b) mygirl2 (number1 makes your cry too much), dirty dancing, bridget jones, coyotee ugly, bring it on, clueless, the way we were, breakfast at tiffanys, hostel, pitch black, into the blue, fast and the furious,2,3, the craft, drop dead fred, underworld evolutions (u havent seen the first one yet) annnnnnnnnnnnd thirteen.
c) hating alison ashley, 40 days 40 nights, look whos talking, legally blonde,2, the ring,2, 13ghosts

22. do i like dates?
a) not really they make you nervous and you dont know what spoon to use and you hate eating in front of people as you always make a mess
b) theres nothing better than a good meal with a nice guy and soft jazz music playing in the background
c) sure like the normal dates where you just hang out together

(ha it was the end of the quiz but i had another one)

23. what is my funeral playlist ?
a) imagine, living dead girl, girls just wanna have fun, lonely day, whatever your fav song is at the time and some others that you cant remember right now
b) more than a feeling, living dead girl, last kiss, ive had the time of my life, walk with you, sway
c) nice soft churchy music nothing to “out of the square”

24. whats my favourite nirvana song?
a) the man who sold the world
b) smells like teen spirit
c) come as you are

25. what song best describes me or makes you think of me
a) your answer must go here

26. whats my favourite song (s) at the moment?
a) arithmatic, sway, from yesterday, in praise of bacchus
b) beatiful people, i dont like the drugs… (live versions)
c)the hand that feeds

27. do i believe in star signs?
a) yes
b) no
c) sort of but they dont have any real impact on you

THE END

unless i think of more and add them at any time… oh like i have right now..

Do me!

Truth Or Dare
and be honest. copy this then
add comment and past it go on!
I dare you…
to tell me the truth..

Four things you wonder about me
1.
2.
3.
4.

Five things you like about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Two things you don’t like about me
1.
2.

My best feature
1.

Four things you want from me
1.
2.
3.
4.

One word that describes me
1.

One dare for me
1.

I dare you to repost this see how many people do this to you

Something that might make you think i have a heart after all (im sorry)

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, ‘that’s her.’”

i think its sweet…

Funni bebo stuff

what a kiss and gesture mean!!
what a kiss and gesture mean!!

*Kiss on the stomach—–”lets have sex”

*Kiss on the Forehead —-”Forever you will be mine”

*Kiss on the Ear —”I’m horny”

*Kiss on the Cheek —”We’re friends”

*Kiss on the Hand —”I adore you”

*Kiss on the Neck —”We belong together”

*Kiss on the Shoulder —”I want you”

*Kiss on the Lips —”I love you”

What the gesture means…

*Holding Hands —”We can learn to love each other”

*Slap on the Butt —”That’s mine”

*Playing with the Ear —”I can’t live without you”

*Holding on tight —”Don’t let go”

*Looking into each other’s Eyes —”Don’t leave me”

*Playing with Hair on Head —”Tell me you love me”

*Arms around the Waist —”I love you too much to let go”

*Laughing while Kissing —”I am completely Comfortable with you”

stupiid photo

i have this pic and its really funny coz it hassles emos but it wont load up properly its one of those moving ones so lets have a bitch at some bebo shelia..

this is taken from L@ur@n Dude.. She Loves Jack. <-UpTheHammers (just so i dont get done 4 copy right or something)
my comments will be done LIKE THIS SO YOU NO ITS ME HEHEHE
For those who stereotype - For those emo haters… 17 days ago

HATE EMO?
READ THIS:

Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

ACTUALLY I DONT LOOK AND SMILE AT THE GIRL IN THE MINI AND TSHIRT SHE TOO IS A SKANK SO UP URS EMO LOVER

Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?
I HAVE NEVER CHANGED MY MUSIC TASTES TO IMPRESS A GUY I JUST DONT TELL HIM I LIKE BROOKE FRAISER TIL AFTER HES BROUGHT ME JEWELERY LOL

ISNT IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone
ACTUALLY NO I THINK GANGSTAS LOOK LIKE DICKS ESPEICALLY THE WHITE ONES
are you laughing?
YES I AM THANKS LOL
Isnt it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?
UHHH.. NAR THE SLAPPER WOULD STILL GET TALKED ABOUT ESPECIALLY IF SHE WAS AN EMO SLAPPER.. HAHAHA IMGAINE THAT

ISNT IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?
NO I LIKE ONE OR TWO EMO BANDS THANK YOU VERY MUCH
im not laughing.
WELL I AM HAHA
ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

HA WHAT SILENT BATTLE? I AGREE WE ALL HAVE OUR THINGS BUT SEROUSLY THEY DONT LOOK LIKE THEIR FIGHTING ANY BATTLE OR IS IT LIKE SOME BIG WAR LIKE “THE WAR AGAINST TERRORISM” BUT ITS LIKE “THE SILENT WAR AGAINST THE PUNKS” ??

ISNT IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILT BUT LIKE HELLO THEY BITCH ABOUT ME TO SO MEH
KEEP ON LAUGHING (thats not me thats her)
ALRIGHT I SHALL

isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life
CHANCES ARE THEY DO IT TOO NO ONES PERFECT
without knowing her situation with her friends
OH WELL RIGHT BACK AT HER
or her family
AGAIN RIGHT BACK AT YOU
or her LIFE
AGAIN.. RIGHT BACK AT HER NOT ONE 4 LISTENING ARE WE?
BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING
UMMM I HAVENT STRIPPED BUT I DID DANCE ON A POOL TABLE ONCE
BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH (AGAIN NOT ME ITS HER)
AYE? I DONT GET YOU
OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND (NOT ME EITHER)
I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND
BRAVE IS

GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES (NOT ME )
ACTUALLY I DID THAT ALL THE TIME AT HIGHSCHOOL, HAD ONE EMBARRASSING ONE WHERE ME AND THIS CHICK THAT WAS IN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS BUT I DIDNT PARTULARLY LIKE COZ SHES ALL INTO JAPENEASE CARTOONS AND SHIT AND WE ENDED UP DRESSING THE SAME SO HA SHAME ON YOU.
ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT (again not me)
SO DO YOU MEAN LIKE MAKING YOUR OWN MUSIC? THATS PRETTY COOL HOWS THAT GOING FOR YOU?

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET (again not me)
CHICKEE I HAD MY FAIR OF SHIT AT HIGHSCHOOL AS WELL AND I DIDNT COMPLAIN

ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR “FRIENDS” ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS (not me)
AGAIN I DIDNT COMPLAIN I WASNT EVEN ALLOWED TO MISS SCHOOL I HAD TO FACE THEM ALL
BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE (AGAIN NOT ME)
THATS NOT BRAVE THATS BLOODY LIKE DEPRESSIVE DICK

ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS (NOT ME)
YEAH WELL U GOTTA HOLD UR HEAD UP HIGH AND NOT GIVE A SHIT HONESTLY WOMAN

KEEP ON LAUGHING. (NOT ME)
I STILL AM ACTUALLY COZ UR QUITE SAD GROW SUM BALLS CHICK I HAD WORSE THAN YOU SO FAR AT HIGHSCHOOL AND I SURRVIVED

HONESTLY WHATS ALL HER BITCHING ABOUT? MEH… WAS FUN

OMG U HAFTA WATCH THIS

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Procrastination of Asignment. Part 1

~* 100 things about ME *~

1. Full Name:Gertrude Poppy Mcflufferson
2. Nicknames: Gerty, Poppy, Fluffy
3. Birthday: 4th February 1986
4. Place of Birth: Feilding
5. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
6. Male or female: FEMALE
7. Grade: ehhh i dunno
8. School: UCOL
9. Occupation: Student and retail
10. Residence: Feilding
11. MSN Screen Name: Queen Bitch (whatever i wanna bitch about here)
__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Colour: uh natural is blonde, atm im not sure i need to dye it again
13. Hair Length: just abover shoulders but not for long!
14. Eye colour: Blue
15. Weight: 290kgs
16. Height: 1.70ish
17. Braces? nah
18. Glasses? yes they make me look smart even when im bullshitting lol
19. Piercings: ears, tongue, one in nose and top ear
20. Tattoos: want one
21. Righty or Lefty: Lefty (im evil)
___Your ‘Firsts’___
22. First best friend: hmm. prolly dannielle i think.. gosh im old i havent seen her for years
23. First Award: certificates at primary school or that one from plunket when u got all ur imunisations
24. First Sport You Joined: Netball
25. First pet: i had a dream bout that last night actually..freaky.. either the cat or bird i cant remember the name of either, i do remember they’re both in the backyard
26. First Real Vacation: when i went to aussie for my auntys wedding i was like 3 or 4
27. First Concert:5ive (stop laughing)
28. First Love: yet to happen
___ Favourites___
29. Movie: Dirty dancing
.30. TV programme: Gilmore girls
31. Colour: pink, black and blue
32. Rapper: lilly allen.. is she a rapper?
. Band: KoRn
34. Song Right Now: make it hard why dont you, i shall consult itunes Slither - velvet revolver
35. Friend: im going to go 4 my cat simba that way i dont insult anyone
Sweet: pass.. oh no wait those lil red hearts or the pepermint leaves
37. Sport to Play: well duz it include bedroom sports or are we talking other stuff? i’ll just say netball
38. Restaurant: Lonestar
39. Favourite brand: the warehouse lol um.. prolly roxy or glassons
40. Store: Trademe. or like real life store? hmmm.. i dont know
41. School Subject: well at hischool i did enviromental studies, did nothing and still passed
42. Animal: men. lol dogs but not like that kind, cats, not that kind either and polar bears and whales and dolphins and starfish’s and turtles all in my bathtub
43. Book: the luckiest girl in the world highly reccomend
44. Magazine: cleo, cosmo, nzpc, thats life!, womans weekly, womans day dont worry i dont pay for half of these i read them at work
.45. Shoes: comfy ones
___Currently___
46. Feeling: hmmm.. cant type that.. lets go with tired
47. Single or Taken? single and loving it
48. Have a crush: yes
49. Eating: nothing
50. Drinking: flat lemonade
51. Typing: this thing
52. Online? yea
53. Listening To: tv
54. Thinking About: uh.. world peace
55. Wanting To: gather all the emos, skanks, sluts and other such ppl not required and put them all on an island let them attack each other and the last person standing will try to swim away but will get eating by the crocodiles surrounding the island thus ending the problem
57. Wearing: my new top that shows off my boobies and jeans and betty boop slippers
___Your Future___
58. Want Kids? would depend who the father was
59. Want to be married? would depend who too, i dont really care for it
60. Careers in Mind: President of the world
61. Where do you want to live: paris
62. Car: evo in candy apple red, or a familia all decked out and sexy
__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___
63. Hair colour: black blonde or brown
64. Hair length: short and spiky or short or long with dreads altho dreads are annoying but they look hot
65. Eye colour: blue, brown or black
66. Measurments: uh i dont really care not too muscley tho
67. Cute or Sexy: both
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69.(yes please) Hugs or Kisses: both lead to sex so hugs they make me feel safe
70. Short or Tall: taller than me is gud
71. Easygoing or serious: bit of both
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: normal .. like sweet
73. Fatty or Skinny: just right.. a balance of both
74. Sensitive or Loud: sheesh a sensitive person wouldnt last 2mins around me! not that im a bitch im just like ohh.. fuck it im a bitch… um, just normal like give and take u no?
75. Hook-up or Relationship: fuck buddies! it would depend i guess
76. Sweet or Caring: sweet
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: sensibly bad
___Have you ever______
78. Kissed a Stranger: not by choice
.79. Had Alcohol: only whats given at mass hahahaha sorry um.. yeah theres baby pics of me and a can of db and no its not empty
80. Smoked: yes
81. Ran Away From Home: yeah many times and yet here i am
82. Broken a bone: yes playing sport believe it or not
83. Got an X-ray: yes many
84. Been with someone: no im always alone u idiot! of course ive been with someone please define your questions better
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: i dont think so however it is a possibility
86. Broke Up With Someone:nar i make them break up with me that way i dont look like the bitch hahaha
87. Cried When Someone Died: like as they died ? no after? yes
88. Cried At School: yep! got me out of trouble lol

___Do You Believe In___
89. God: undecided
90. Miracles: well im here
91. Love At First sight: nar
92. Ghosts: yeah kinda, not so much ghosts, but spirits
93. Aliens: yes
94. Soul Mates: maybe
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: if theres a heaven there has to b a hell, everything has an oppisite
97. Angels: yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: if the moments right
99. Horoscopes: sometimes
___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can’t Have? yes of course… and we all know who that is… oh do you not know? oops my bad hahaha

Some quiz thing i stole from bebo and am now filling in coz im bored

—————–WHAT IS—————–
-[x] Your thoughts first waking up: i so so not want to get out of bed i just went to sleep!
[x] The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eyes[x]
Your bedtime: i aim for like 10:30pm but it never works out that way
[x] Your most missed memory: well if i miss it then it must b lost which means i cant remember it?
YOU PREFER—————-[x]
Pepsi or Coke: coke
[x] McDonald’s or Burger King: um.. bk think
[x] Single or group dates: single i think
[x] Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate!
[x] Cappuccino or coffee: um how bout i trade you for a grande mochachino?
DO YOU———yes i do but do you?———[x]
Smoke: first up smoke what? and seccondly yes cigerates when im drunk
[x] Curse/swear:yep alot
[x] Have any crushes?: yes[x] Who are they: well since you asked IM NOT TELLING
[x] Do you think you’ve been in love?: Nar
[x] Want to go to uni?: nar drink too much
[x] Like high school: well its been a few years and now that i look back on it sure y not.
[x] Want to get married?: maybe
[x] If so…With who?: well if i knew i wouldnt be single would i?
[x] Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yes
[x] Believe in yourself: sometimes
[x] Get motion sickness: only if i try to read or if my mate has real smelly car freshner shit
[x] Think you’re a health freak: not in the slightest
[x] Get along with your parents/guardian: we have our moments
[x] Like thunderstorms: i dont mind them but one of my cats gets scared and i must hold him lol
—————–HAVE YOU EVER——–no i havent!
———-[x] Flown on a plane: yep[x]
Missed school because it was raining?: lol yes
[x] Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: yes
[x] Cried during a Movie?: yeh
[x] Ever thought an animated character was hot?: yes i think so, cant remeber who tho
[x] Had an imaginary friend: yes
[x] Cut your own hair: haha yes its growing out now tho
[x] Had a crush on a teacher?: fuck yeah.. bout the only time i wud have been intersted in maths but did i have him as my teacher? no
[x] Been called a tease: yep
[x] Gotten beaten up?: yes
[x] Been in a fight: yep [x]
Shoplifted: yep
—————THE FUTURE——————
[x] Age you hope to be married: yet to decide if i want to get married
[x] Numbers of Children: judging the way i attempted to put a nappy on a doll the other night im going to go with zero
[x] Descibe your Dream Wedding: either at the church in noumea or on a beach or somewhere nice ooh like france
[x] How do you want to die?: quickly like by a train or something or a pyscho killer just WHAM your gone wud b great
[x] What do you want to be when you grow up?:a G.I joe
[x] What country would you most like to visit?: america or france
—————–OPPOSITE SEX——-HELL YEAH
———–[x] Best eye color: Brown or blue or that silver ish colour u no?
[x] Best hair color: black or blonde maybe brown
[x] Short hair or long hair: short unless its dreads
[x] Height: taller than me
[x] Best weight: duznt bother me much
[x] Best first date location: i dont do dates lol
[x] Best first kiss location: whereever feels comfortbale
—————–NUMBER OF—–sheep————
[x] Number of drugs taken illegally: just the one the other drugs were legal lol
[x] Number of people I could trust with my life: 2
[x] Number of CDs that I own: i dunno close to 100 = 200 even id say
[x] Number of piercing: let me count ahh 4!
[x] Number of tattoos: none but i want one
[x] Number of things in my past that I regret: have no regrets
—————-FAVORITES——————
[x] Shampoo: garnier frucus, schwarscpf (cant spell) and sunsilk (yes i do use all 3 alturnitively)
[x] Fav Color(s): PINK and then blue and then black
[x] Day/Night: night
[x] Summer/Winter: winter although hot boys come out in summer
[x] Lace or Satin: satin
[x] Fave Cartoon: rugrats and the happy tree friends its so cute how their so violent
[x] Fave Food: lasange and chicken not together obviously
[x] Fave sport: netball and rugby
——RIGHT NOW——LEFT NOW————
[x] Right Now Wearing: Pjs[x]
Drinking: water wishing it was vodka
[x] Listening to: i dont want to say can i wait til the songs finished? atm its halleujuah yes i no not like me but meh then after that it will alfie by lilly allan! u hafta listen to it! makes me laugh o yeah now the song finishes
———–IN THE LAST 24 HRS–no i havent ————
[x] Cried: yes[x] Worn jeans: um.. no
[x] Met someone new online: nope[x]
Done laundry: shit its still in the washing machine from the other day!
———–DO YOU BELIEVE IN—-nope———-
[x] Yourself: usually
[x]Your friends: most of them
[x] Santa Claus: no he wont bring me a car
[x] Tooth Fairy: no she wudnt pay for my teeth to b taken out
[x] Destiny/Fate: um i think things happen for a reason
[x] Angels: well im here arent i? hehe
[x] Ghosts: a tiny bit
[x] UFO’s: not really
[x] God: undecided
[x] Love: nope
————FRIENDS AND LIFE——you mean they do exist?———-
[x] Do you ever wish you had another name? Gertrude Poppy McFlufferson
[x] Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: no
[x] Do you like anyone?: yes wasnt that sumwhere up there?
[x] Where are you planning to take the relationship: i was thinking maybe a cruise around the bahamas
[x] Which of your friends acts most like you?: im not sure
[x] Are you close to any family member?: no i like to avoid them
[x] What’s the best feeling in the world?: im not sure i’ll let you no

is that it? how tragic o well im off to go do something else now im still bored and sleep is not an option.

byebye